Rick’s Picks 2013/2014

Jimmy the Greek here and it’s time again for the annual forecasting and handicapping of the HHL season. I’m on vacation and have a little extra time on my hands, so things got a little detailed. And if my two cents wasn’t enough, you will get chirped by Ramma himself.

This year more than ever there appears to be no clear-cut favorite. It’s almost as if the salary cap era has hit the HHL. Recent power line-ups have dissolved, or have had players jump ship to the KHL. Historically tragic teams have found some balance. Never have so many teams had uneven positional situations with their rosters, leaving themselves extremely vulnerable to injuries. All these factors have set up this season as another compelling run for the 18^th HHL Championship.

Dead Last: Rarr’s Rage

The Greeks Overview: The handwringing and stress of bidding on every single player must have worn out GM Wilson as the night wore on. This line up is both thin and weak.

Ramma Says: Even more than usual, Draft Day was a complete disaster for GM Wilson. His strategic direction changed more often than his beloved Microsoft, and that strategy, such as it was, worked about as well as the skype for we remote GM’s. Balmer is on his way out…could Wilson be far behind!? Definitely the worst Rage team ever. Cue the dump!

Between the Pipes:

Two good goalies on crappy teams, both below average potential. Even with Schneider winning the starting job in the first 10 games of the season, 30 wins will be a stretch.

Defenders:

I love PK Subban now and for the long run, but this is the lone bright light on a dark roster. Weber will be a stud for team Canada, but the Preds will struggle to put up two goals a game.

Up the Middlle:

Total Crap. Not one player who will crack 55 points.

On the boards:

The curse of good players on crappy teams continues. Giroux, Semin (flake), Kane.

Add it all up: Shouldn’t take long.

14^th: Wallis Jets

The Greeks Overview: The Jets franchise seems to be following the path of the HHL’s only player (Marty Brodeur) still on an original roster. Fading fast. Jets fever on the Draft night the year the Jets returned has caused a multi year hangover as well. Don’t get me wrong the Greek loves a homer, but not much came of that draft, and not much has arrived since.

Ramma Says: The Jets have more cash on the books than Apple, but if you never spend it, the result should be fairly predictable…this team is scary bad. They’ve already fallen way back, and that’s with Fleury leading the league in goalie points. Homer has it right here, at some point, Walli must spend money to stop this never ending death spiral. Break out the honey cruellers!

Between the Pipes: Can you imagine if Fleury played in a Canadian city with his playoff performance? That being said, he’s the starting goalie on the best team in the league. A nice transition from the ancient one.

Defenders: Often loaded with great prospects, not many have panned out. Doughty is a great example. After a breakout second season, he is a sub 40 point per year guy. Not good enough. Big Z is getting old.

Up the Middle: Love Backstrom, not the rest. Backes is off to a good start, but there’s not much upside to his scoring game.

On the Boards: Yikes. You’d think he’d at least have Evander Kane. Not good.

Add it All Up: NHL Jets will out-perform HHL Jets.

13^th: Tri-City Flood

The Greeks Overview: It will be tough to have three cities booing this team off the ice all year. The Tri-City Flood is in bad shape this year, and in years to come.

Ramma Says: Wow, am I ever glad that I didn’t listen to the pool magazines and elected to balk at Stephen Weiss. He’s started slower than Buzz at a vegan buffet. I don’t know if I would have the Flood quite this far down the ladder, but no doubt about it, the days of this team being a perennial contender are over. Let the 5-year rebuild begin.

Between the Pipes: King Henrik will enjoy the trip to Sochi when he gets to play on a good team. Worse news, he’s not practicing, and will soon be missing games due to shell shock.

Defenders: Franson is good, Edler is good, Hamhuis is no fantasy league gem. The team Canada mention got deep in his skull, and he stared to randomly fall down in the corner. Not sure who those other two guys are.

Up the Middle: Stinky. Mike Richards hasn’t been a relevant HHL’er since 08/09. Good for at least one cheap shot a year though. Terrible start from the rest of his plummers, and you can expect more of the same.

On the Boards: Danny Sedin is still looking for that little something. Hard to believe that Hank has separated himself form his bother on a nightly basis. Benn is a solid pro, no more. Hossa never scores much, love his game though.

Add it All Up: No good today, not good tomorrow, not good next year. Best of luck trading away you aging talent and preparing for the long re-build.

12^th: Barney Hardcore

The Greeks Overview: The future is not now. But the future may not be far away. Never have we seen the last three #1 Overall picks on the same squad. Unfortunately the Hardcore have a chance for four in a row.

Ramma Says: Barney has more wingers than Rob Ford has chins, but who cares if they all suck. This team looks like the HHL’s version of the Edmonton Oilers. I see some deadline deals for some of the borderline talent, and another top pick come next September. Settle in for Year 12 of the 5-year plan.

Between the Pipes: Not good. Nabakov is not very good. Neither are the Isles.

Defenders: Not bad, but on a max roster of twenty, how are there only three D men?

Up the Middle: Love the Nuge, MacKinnon by all reports is a sure thing super stud. If Roy plays like he did for Vancouver last season he doesn’t have much to offer.

On the Boards: Nothing like a coach power tripping on a potential star player. Yakupov is sure to get better watching from the press box while some AHL level plugger gets his minutes. Nice move, I’m sure the Hardcore is thrilled with this. Pominville should be better. O’Reilly looks okay. 3 for 11 in the winger dept.

Add it All Up: Look out for the Hardcore in 2016.

11^th: Comox Crunch

The Greeks Overview: I seem to recall that the Crunch had star power in their line-up every year, and lots of it. That was then, this is now. Now they have players who used to be stars like Heatly & Briere. Will the Kovalchuk departure be the first of many to defect, or just an anomaly? The Greeks in particular hope most great Russians stay put, not go Kaput.

Ramma Says: OK, this is the first prediction I will have to disagree with Homer. Now, this is no championship contender, but putting this team in the 11^th hole is like saying the Microsoft Surface will be the top tablet in the world next year…Jimmy must have been 6 beers in. There’s enough here for a low end playoff birth. All that said, what the hell were the Crunch thinking taking Drew Stafford…7 years, and still waiting!

Between the Pipes: LUOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Defenders: There are only three, and one hasn’t played yet. Letang is right there with Karlson in PPG, but he just can’t stay on the ice. Prediction, he plays for team Canada, gets hurt in the first game, misses the rest of the season. Hedman, reminds me of Ohlund, good but doesn’t score. Yandle, well if he gets traded….

Up the Middle: The strength of the squad. Jumbo Joe, still getting it done, Spezza is solid. The Greek is always cheering for his Nucks and a bounce back from Kesler.

On the Boards: Vanek, well if he gets traded…. Not much here.

10^th: Kurgens Killer Krew

The Greeks Overview: Kurgen always seems to have a multi year plan. When this plan is coming together I’m not sure. This team is built on defense. One star defenseman. One good defenseman. One average defenseman, and a couple of youngsters that will be good someday, but not this year.

Ramma Says: Marian Gaborik is about as stable as Ontario politics, and if he’s your best winger, you’re in big trouble. Sure, there’s some definite talent up in the middle (love Logan Couture), but there’s just not enough here to get excited about. Maybe next year Krew.

Between the Pipes: Bobrovski. Bad in Philly, great in CBJ. Veznia trophy last year. No good this year.

Defenders: See above.

Up the Middle: Good young center icemen. Couture is really good. Kadri could be really good. I hope Hodgson sucks.

On the Boards: Nine wingers on the roster. Looks like he needs a few more.

Add it All Up: The long range plan continues…..

9^th: Korean Assassins

The Greeks Overview: Just who is the Mystery Advisor? Worst pick of all time, Okposo. C’mon Teddy, you had a high draft pick in a great draft year, you had to take one of the super star potential rookies. Instead you take a crappy second line winger who will never be more than a 60 pt player even if he manages to stay on Tavares’ wing, which he hasn’t over the past three year. WHO IS THIS MYSTERY ADVISOR????

Ramma Says: I love that TK has brought in a Special Advisor to help him. The Professor could certainly use it after decades of disasters. It’s even more cool that he remained nameless through the whole night. Say what you will, about his questionable advice but at least Okposo isn’t retired. In the end, who cares, this team still sucks and the only thing Teddy or Theo or whatever he’s called now has to look forward to is another title-less season.

Between the Pipes: No question the strength of this team. Halak will get hurt, and Rask will carry the ball here. Bruins are an elite team, and play great defense. Rask will rack up the points.

Defenders: Brent Burns looks great on this D-core, too bad he’s a forward. I took the time to check out our position listing sites, and the changes are in. Burns is a winger. Why does everyone hate Phaneuf? Oh yeah, he’s the captain of the Leafs. The rest are no good.

Up the Middle: Pavelski is a nice player, but third line minutes. Statstny, to bad he isn’t Peter or Antoine. Weak group.

On the Boards: Seriously, Kyle Okposo? Hemsky = Flake, Perron = Flake, Brunner = Nobody wanted him this offseason (except the Dynasty). Not a single 60 point player. Any explanation why Skinner was released?

Add it All Up: It’s just fun to pick the Assassins one spot short of the Playoffs.

8^th: Spanish Bitches

The Greeks Overview: Don’t be fooled by the early season standings. Niemi will not maintain his 135 points pace. The Sharks goalie may lead the league, but things will move back to the center here. This is one of the few well-balanced rosters in the league. Just a little young and soft, and not quite ready to enter the discussion of title contender.

Ramma Says: I’m with Homer on this pick. Niemi has started faster than Commissioner Livingstone at an over-50 speed dating event, but that can’t continue. There’s just too many holes on the wing and the back-end for this team to legitimately contend. Sorry Happy.

Between the Pipes: Just ask the Canucks how good the Sharks look this season. Wow. Niemi is a proven vet, and as a past Cup winner, the real deal. Top drawer.

Defenders: Enstrom played every game of his first three seasons, then missed 10, 20, & 30 games in the next three. If he plays, he is good. Schultz and Carlson are very similar, tons of upside, now show me something. Tyson Barrie played a lot last year for the Av’s, now they have a new coach and he is not. This group doesn’t do much for me. Average/Average

Up the Middle: Duchene and Kopitar, hmmmmm. I think they’re pretty good, but are they? Point per game seasons would be career bests. Career seasons are need for this squad.

On the Boards: Not very good. Best of the bunch is Landeskog, who was saddled with the “C” as a teenager. Too bad, he could have learned to score some more if they would have let him be a kid for a while. After that, just okay.

Add it All Up: Enough, but not that much. Fast start, Slow Fade.

7^th The Greeks

The Greeks Overview: Had I written this three weeks ago, I’d have taken the Greeks to win. Sometimes the season is over before it starts. Hall, Neal, Gagne, all out for a big chunk of the season has the Greeks out of contention for the title. That being said, there is enough on this roster to squeak into the playoffs but not much more.

Ramma Says: Sorry Homer, too much of the local product for you. The injuries will just put some added oomph on a sharp duck hook into the shadows of the bottom 5.

Between the Pipes: Holtby was a big factor in the Greeks run that fell short last year. The Caps have started slow, but Holtby will be between the pipes all year long. Okay, but not in the top of the league.

Defenders: Nothing to see here. Four of the D men were taken on draft day and the only one off to a good start (Brodin) just broke his face. Be lucky to have one crack 40 pts.

Up the Middle: Eric Staal looks okay after Edler cheap shotted him at the World Champs last spring. Huberdeau will be a star, just not this year. Gagne would have been solid for the Greeks (Fuck you Kassian). Dubinsky, well, he may count, but if he does the Greeks are in trouble.

On the Boards: On paper this is the class of the HHL. Unfortunately Neal and Hall just can’t stay healthy, and that’s three of the five players that the Greeks were really counting on. Parise, and Dupuis are solid but not spectacular. There real hope is that the Great 8 is great. If so the Greeks will be in the playoff hunt.

Add it All Up: This team needs a better medical staff.

6^th: Liberals

The Greeks Overview: With a total of $266 Mil dropped on draft day, you’d think the Liberals were running an Ad Agency in Montreal, and his old buddies from Parliament Hill were stopping by with brown bags of cash. He did however, and cleverly let Bergeron go and get a $43 kick back. Outside of the ageless wonder midget Marty St. Louis, there is not a player on this roster that excites me.

Ramma Says: Holly Alexander Steen Batman. Take this crazy start away from this team and you start to see the real Liberals. 6^th is extremely generous. On another note, I must say it was extremely frightening to have my picks consistently endorsed by the Buzz man. I mean seriously, this is the guy who picked Troy Brower and spent a mind boggling $128M on Patrick Sharp!

Between the Pipes: Are the Habs good, or just off to a hot start? Over the past three years Price has looked like the best young goalie in the world, needed a shrink, and now is above average again. Not sure what to expect, but one thing we know for sure. If he plays shitty, the pressure in La Belle Province can be like having your balls stuck in a vice. No fun at all (sorry for the visual).

Defenders: Kronwall, got Kronwalled. Visnovsky was good once before, and he happened to be on the Liberals roster that year. Fowler has never scored. Voynov looked like a great pick, but like Bickell, was perhaps just a playoff flash. This group would be great if you were trying to keep pucks out of your net, but not much for fantasy hockey.

Up the Middle: Buzz may be taller than any one of his three veteran centers. Barkov may be the real deal, but not until the Florida franchise relocates to Quebec City (really, this should happen, I mean c’mon). These guys are all okay, but no one I’d consider a star. Grabovski has something to prove. Johansson is okay, but one of these two is a third line center. Not good. Ribeiro plays in Phoenix, nuff said.

On the Boards: Marty = Good, Bobby Ryan = Over Hyped, Sharp = Good player but $128 Mil? Not that good, Steen = 50 point player who always gets hurt. Good but not great.

Add it All Up: Decent but unspectacular. This roster reminds me of Stephane Dion, remember him? I didn’t think so.

5^th: Team Chaos

The Greeks Overview: There is a lot to like on this roster. Plenty of solid veteran talent with a history of dependable games played. A splash of youth and potential that will need to show up to make any kind of a run. The question again remains, WILL THERE BE CHAOS? It’s hard to win the HHL title. Chaos, along with the Greeks, Assassins and Jets are the four of the Original 10 without a title. Cole spent his hard earned cash this year to fill out his lineup through Free Agency. He will need some production from his high priced additions to climb the leaderboard in search of his first HHL title.

Ramma Says: Add another year to the title drought for Cole, and yet another winter of discontent for the Occupy Chaos movement. That said, as much as I’d love to rip Cole (thanks for bidding $92 for Andrew Ladd), there’s a lot of talent here. He can replace his shitty goalie with one of mine, but replacing all three d might be a wee bit of a problem. 5^th is probably a bit high, but this team is light years better than Buzz. Wow, that was hard to say so many nice things about Chaos!

Between the Pipes: Pavelec will start almost every game for the Jets. The Jets stink.

Defenders: It’s a shame that Dan Boyle’s noggin is a little softer than it was at the start of the season. He was the anchor of what is a respectable crop of Dmen. Streit and Timmonen unfortunately are part of a dismal Flyers squad, but things can only get better there. Goligoski, one of those big $$ Free Agents, was one of the best of another lean group available on draft day. If Boyle comes back and isn’t completely cross-eyed, there may be three 40+ point scores here.

Up the Middle: Is Hank Sedin faster this year? Perhaps Gillis should have canned Coach V a year earlier. Datsyuk is off to a great start. Two great pieces for Team Chaos.

On the Boards: Zetterberg is awesome. It’s always interesting when a roster has two star players playing most of their minutes together. Things can be volatile. One guy gets hot and they both benefit. This is good when the two are Zetterberg and Datsyuk. The rest are not amazing but very solid. Not another point per game guy, but plenty of potential.

Add it All Up: A solid Playoff Squad, but another year without a trophy on the office desk.

4^th: Dynasty

The Greeks Overview: Like the sun rises, the Greek will never, ever, neverever, neverevernever, pick the Dynasty to win. And this year it’s easy. He has managed to load his roster with most of my least favorite players in the NHL. The leafs goalie (always cheer against the Leafts) Mullet master Patty Kane, a Bruin (any Bruin for that matter), and Corey Perry (Total Dick). With just one extra skater on his roster, the Dynasty inexplicably managed to load his roster with three goalies. Trade bait in the future, but as I always say, goalies come cheap in the HHL. There is star power throughout this lineup, but not enough meat to cover the inevitable games lost to injury and in Corey Perry’s case suspensions (Total dick).

Ramma Says: I love that my roster pisses off Pringle. There is nothing better than getting under Pringle’s skin, getting his face flushing red with anger. I just wish I had MORE players to piss him off with! Trading away my draft picks last year was bad, forgetting I had done it until days before the draft is worse! If I can stay healthy look out. Even one injury though and I’m screwed.

Between the Pipes: Lots to choose from here. All good. Oh and I forgot to say that I hate Mike Smith too. Biggest pads in the league, loved it when Edler ran him behind the net last year. Crawford will count, and he will be in the top five.

Defenders: Karlsson is a stud, but I don’t see him repeating the run of 2012. Ramma really needs him to play all year as much as he needs him to score. I really like Shattenkirk, but not as much as I would if he wasn’t the number 3 d man on his team. Leddy is fast but average. Where are the rest of your D-Men?

Up the Middle: Skinner is one year removed from being one of the darlings of the HHL. This year he came cheap and now he is producing once again. Problem is, at 5’8”, Corey Perry is likely to take his head off (Total Dick). 65 games for Skinner and 55 points, is not enough as your #1 up the middle. Krejci, like everyone on the Beantown roster will win, but not rack up points. Koivu may not play as much as Skinner. Where are the rest of your Centers?

On the Boards: Stregth of the squad for sure. Kane, Perry and Kunitz will carry this team. Gallagher is a nice pick up and is looking like the second coming of Theo Fleury (minus being a total prick). Actually, Gallagher is the only guy on this roster that I could cheer for. Theo would be a perfect fit. Where are the rest of your Wingers?

Add it All Up: Lots of stars, a bunch of assholes, no depth except where you only get to count one player. A good team, but not a championship team.

3^rd: Los Diablos

The Greeks Overview: Hate to say it, but in my heart last year, when writing the Picks for the first time, I thought this was the line-up to beat. Didn’t give them the nod then, but lesson learned. When you’re the Greek, never second-guess your gut. Los Diablos had what it took down the stretch last year, and with some great goaltending and Wayne Fucking Simmonds lighting it up in the final week, took home the title (No bitterness here, no really, I’ve lost in worse ways; See Hall of Fame 2000/01). Los Diablos are back with the same weaknesses they started with last year, only this year just a little bit worse.

Ramma Says: I really don’t get why Pringle has put last year’s champ this high. Diablos has started slower than a Rob Ford/Commissioner Livingstone/Homer Pringle 100-metre dash. His centres are rock solid, but he has NO wingers that would count on a championship team…seriously, he’s counting a guy named Sven. There are way too many holes to fill. Playoffs are about as likely as the Sochi Olympics coming in on budget.

Between the Pipes: Howard. Reminds me of Osgood. Wings always win, and now that they are in the East, I think will be even better.

Defenders: Potentially the best of the HHL. Big Buff is getting it done early, and if his little buddy Enstrom plays, he’ll be a 50 pt guy. Suter plays all game every game and Markov hasn’t torn up his knee yet……yet.

Up the Middle: Tavares in my mind is off to a slow start and still better than a point per game. Lock for top five in league scoring. Took a look back at Getzlaf’s production over the years. Only one bad season, otherwise total stud. Could hit 90 if Perry doesn’t get suspended for sticking someone, or kneeing someone, or elbowing someone (total dick). Toews is the enigma for me. Is he a point a game guy or 65 or less? If Captain serious gets hot this team could find a way to repeat.

On the Boards: This is why we have them 3^rd. Bryan Bickell is arguably one of the worst Auction buys I have ever heard of. This ain’t the playoffs. Even riding shotgun for Kane and Toews, he’ll be a non-counter for this squad. And if he is counting, there are some serious problems. But wait, there are serious problems. He also took Jannik Hansen (recently injured but was never going to score. Have you not been watching him play for the past 5 years????). Voracek, I was never buying it. Justin Williams, meh. No star power on the wing, no championship season.

Add it All Up: You can’t win twice in a row with wingers this crappy.

2^nd: Disco Godfathers

The Greeks Overview: The Disco Dance Party is Back On, and the Godfather’s Team has it’s groove back. Just two seasons removed from his championship, Barry is back in the mix for a title run again.

Ramma Says: The Godfather has definitely got his jiggy back. It’s doesn’t get much better than Kessel, Eberle and Stamkos but the key to this year will be Seguin…if he can keep it up, it could be Disco all the time come April.

Between the Pipes: Good goalie, good team. Sutter Coached team, even better. Quick may not ever play at the level he did when his pads were longer than an I5 traffic jam in the center of the City of Angels, but he will get his share of SO’s and wins. Quick is an elite goalie in the HHL, and we fully expect him to be in the top 3 scoring goalies in the league.

Defenders: Ice packs and Crutches. Green, Wisniewski, Giordano already in and out. Tons of potential, but a history of not just cuts and scrapes, rather catastrophic injuries.

Up the Middle: Stevie Freakin Stamkos. Love this guy. Who ever thought a Spicoli look-a-like could snipe like that. Seguin looks like he is going to blossom with the extra ice and roll in the Lone Star State. Don’t forget he was the 1B option in the draft just a few years ago.

On the Boards: The Greek loves star power and although this winger core is shallow, it packs some punch. Kessel is sweet. Weird but sweet. The down side is the $8 mil and change that he has set for the next decade. Motivation issues? Time will tell, but the pressure to perform in the centre of the universe in front of all those asshole reporters should be enough to keep the feet moving. Eberle is already a legend. Great hands. After that, there’s enough to keep him in the race

Add it All Up: A near miss for the Godfather, but will keep things close until the final week.

Champions: Kevlar

The Greeks Overview: Let’s face it. When Crosby finishes this season with scoring title by 40 points, many sins of Kevlar’s team will be forgotten, not that there are many. Not only that, the runner up in the scoring race may just be his #2 Center. That kind of firepower will be too much for the rest of the HHL to overcome.

Ramma Says: I’m in! It’s only taken the better part of a decade, but the Man of Kevlar has finally surrounded Crosby and Malkin with enough. He needs to get the goalie I didn’t trade to Cole to finish things off, but there’s definitely enough here to bring it all home…as long as Sid keeps his head up!

Between the Pipes: Rinne is still a superstar, but the Preds are getting worse. More than a goal a game will be too many. Goalies come cheap in the HHL, though, and Kevlar will surely be able to fill the gap if Rinne doesn’t to the trick.

Defenders: Elbows McKeith’s Norris season is a distant memory, but we all know he’ll be anchoring a deadly power play all season long in the Windy City. Faulk is decent, and Niskanen will be passing it to Crosby and Malkin, so we like him for 35 +. Looking at the rest of the HHL D core’s, this one is just fine

Up the Middle: FIRE - POWER. Kevlar will be enjoying the contract year for Marleau. These three are the class of the league, and could potentially out score the next best center ice crew in the HHL by 75 points.

On the Boards: Moulson and Parenteau are for real, and are playing for up and coming teams. Alfie is older than dirt (same age as Tyfting?) but is still a stud on the PP. His feet are getting old, but those hands are still sweet.

Add it All Up: Every team in the HHL needs to have their stars play to win. This is the year Crosby finally does it, and he will lead Kevlar to his second title.