Rick’s Picks – The 98/ 99 Year in Review
1998-1999 was another fabulous season for the HHL. Although there wasn’t a down to the wire race for the top three spots as in last year’s season, blockbuster trades, hirings, firings, and lots of controversy provided non-stop excitement. We here at Rick’s Picks wanted to take this opportunity to review the season that was, and give brief comments on each of the teams. All General Managers have also been given letter grades to reflect their activities, or lack thereof, during this season.
President & GM: Jose Gomez-Garcia
Predicted Finish: 3rd
Grade: A+
In 98-99, Gomez-Garcia managed to assemble one of the best teams the HHL has ever seen. With Jaromir Jagr, Paul Kariya, Theo Fleury and Alexei Yashin, the Bitches have three serious studs. These four carried the team to the first place position with help from other solid performers such as Bill Guerin and Darryl Sydor. Able to avoid serious injury for most of the season, the Bitches had a dream season finishing 58 points ahead of the second place Liberals. The best move of the season for Gomez-Garcia must have been the signing of Darryl Sydor. The kid from Kamloops tallied 48 points from the blueline. The acquisition of Marcus Naslund was also a nice move, but can he afford to keep him at the end of the season? Look for the Bitches to dump some salary before next year’s draft. At the gate, the Bitches had a run of 20 consecutive sell outs to finish the season. The team also expects a strong season ticket renewal as there is no reason this team won’t compete for the title again next year.
President & General Manager: Kevin "Buzz" Leeson
Predicted Finish: 6th
Grade: A
To every other franchise’s dismay, the Liberals were finally able to crack the
‘money’ barrier in 98-99. One of the most despised franchises in the HHL, the Liberals were able to make the jump from dead last to second place overall. How did they do it you ask? Amazing as it may sound, President & General Manager Buzz Leeson was able to pull off a number of great trades throughout the season. Of course it helps that Leeson doesn’t have a real job and therefore has the free time to mercilessly harass other HHL GM’s into submission. He also knows which GM’s to target. As always, Teddy ‘The Professor’ Kim was a favorite target. First, he swindled the Great One from the Assassin’s roster, then he was able to purchase budding superstar Pavol Demitra, a player he had lost in the Gretzky deal, for a measly $50! Have fun using that $50 on the outstanding talent sure to available Professor…………….I’m sure Todd Bertuzzi will have a much better year next season!! More on the Professor later….As a small market club, the Liberals will need to drastically cut their payroll before next season. The retirement of Gretzky will help the Liberals bottom line, but Leeson will still have to move some of his high priced veterans such as Steve Thomas, Luc Robitaille, Phil Housley, and Ray Whitney. It’s gonna be a fire sale folks and franchises with significant room under the cap will no doubt be circling this great white whale. Leeson’s success next season will hinge on whether he receives enough value for the players he decides to move. It should be an interesting summer in the Riv.
President & General Manager: Barney ‘Softcore’ Hodgson
Predicted Finish: 1st
Grade: B+
For the second straight year, the ‘Teers finished third overall in the HHL. This marks the first time since the Dynasty’s unprecedented five-year run in the early-mid 90’s that an HHL team has finished in the money in back to back seasons. The gang from Mississippi was able to get by with only 3 quality players, but these 3 were serious studs. Teemu Selanne won the first ever Rocket Richard Trophy for most goals, Mats Sundin had an excellent year, and Dominik Hasek was brilliant. Beyond that, the team was built in the image of its GM. A group that included Brian Rolston, Sergei Zubov, and Josef Beranek brought their lunchbuckets to work every night and plugged along without a great deal of skill. Hodgson gets a B+ for his performance this season as he was able to ice a very competitive team while at the same time keeping his operating costs down. The acquisition of Dan McGillis was a nice move at the trading deadline to solidify his money spot. At the gate, the ‘Teers did quite well selling out 10 home games in their inaugural season. One promotion that didn’t work for GM Hodgson was the ‘If you married a family member your spouse gets in free nights’. The team was forced to giveaway some 6,000 tickets at each of these games. "What a nightmare that promotion was, exclaimed Hodgson. Who knew there were that many inbreds down here." The promotion will not be held next season.
President & General Manager: Neil Deguzman
Predicted Finish: 9th
Grade: C+
What started out as a promising season for the Dinosaur, turned into a disaster. By trading team star Eric Lindros, GM Deguzman had to finish at least in the Top 3 to make this transaction worthwhile. By finishing fourth, Deguzman has put his team in a serious hole. In the Lindros deal, he acquired aging stars Steve Yzerman and Ed Belfour, along with journeyman Derek King. The future is now for this team, but unfortunately, they do not have the horses to get the job done. Mark Messier is another aging warrior with his best years behind him, as is Larry Murphy and Eric Desjardins. With severely limited cap room , and pennies coming at the end of the season, this team will start its steady decline into the depths of the HHL. Hey Neil, when your cutting sponsorship deals for next season, make sure to stock up on Depends, and Prune Juice.
President & General Manager: Kevin ‘Eth Ecto Skellie’ Tyfting
Predicted Finish: 8th
Grade: C+
OK, how does he do it? He never makes any trades, he never fires anybody, he
never does a great job of drafting, and he never signs a quality free agent. Yet, this hick from the sticks consistently finishes in the upper half of the HHL every season. His best player, and highest point getter, is Curtis Joseph at 86 points. Kevlar does have an excellent defence with Al MacInnis and Brian Leetch, but beyond that he’s very average. Therein lies the key to Tyfting’s success. He’s average. He will never again win a HHL Championship, but he will also never finish in the bottom half of the league. He’s the St. Louis Blues, the Texas Rangers, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the Atlanta Hawks of the HHL……..never great, but never lousy. Lucky for GM Tyfting the farmer folk out in Agassi don’t know the difference. This does not mean Tyfting’s job is safe however. Last week, an article appeared in the Agassi Chronicle alleging that Tyfting was in fact a closet homosexual. The Chronicle claimed to have incriminating photos of a naked Tyfting wrapped in a spoon-like embrace with current HHL Commissioner David Livingstone. The Chronicle would not release the source of the photos, but it is believed the photos were taken at a HHL General Managers meeting in Las Vegas in 1997.
President & General Manager: Andy ‘Woo’ Marchand
Predicted Finish: 11th
Grade: C+
1998-99 was just the second season for the Foundation and they made a nice jump
in the standings compared to their expansion year. The big question is, does this team have what it takes to take the next step. Similar to Team Kevlar, the Foundation does not have any legit stars. Tony Amonte is a good, but not great forward, while the Bieser, John Vanbiesbrouk provides adequate goaltending. The addition of Sandis Ozolinsh at the trading deadline was a nice acquisition, but this team isn’t even close to contending with the big boys. In addition to their troubles on the ice, this team is in some financial trouble. Team President Woo Marchand decided in 1997 to build his team a new, state of the art facility, in the heart of downtown Sardis. Unfortunately, due to construction cost overruns, the new Creatine Place is already 60 million dollars over budget. The 20,000 seat arena will most-likely be half empty for most Foundation games next season as Woo has only been able to sell 2,000 Season Ticket Equivalents thus far. "Why would I pay $50 a seat to watch Viktor Kozlov and Radek Dvorak," cried one Foundation fan. In order to guard against this poor attendance and generate extra revenues, GM Woo has arranged for 18 WWF, and 20 WCW events to be held at Creatine Place throughout the first year.
President & General Manager: Jimmy "Homer" Pringle
Predicted Finish: 5th
Grade: C
Throughout the season, even as half his team was down with injury, Homer
Pringle truly believed his team had a shot at the money. Sadly, everyone’s skinniest, yet fattest golf pro finished 108 points out of third. What was he thinking?? With Jason Allison, Joe Sakic and…………and……………and……………?? Sorry Jimbo, besides your top two, you’ve got nobody. Every team with 6+ protectable players should paint a target on your skinny little ass, or actually, come to think of it, your boiler is probably a better, and larger target. Come on faithful readers, who is this team going to protect at the end of this season?? Where do we begin….Alexander Mogilny is a lost cause, Kamensky can never stay healthy, Darren McCarty is potentially the worst redraft selection in HHL history with a grand total of 1 point in the second half of the season, Robert Svehla is very average, Jeff Friesen just doesn’t seem to be able to make the jump to proven scorer, and Jeff Hackett/Mike Richter both play for terrible teams. Whew….that was a long sentence, but you get the picture. This team needs help in a bad way. GM Pringle needs to look at some serious rebuilding with this roster, or he could be a cellar dwellar for years to come. Oh yeah, rumours are also swirling that the reason for this team’s season long injury bug is because GM Pringle also took on the role of Strength and Conditioning Coach. This cost cutting move, a strategy he learned from Buzz ‘There is no one cheaper on this earth’ Leeson proved fatal as Greek players lost more man games to injury than any other HHL franchise. Pringle’s summer training regime, allegedly designed after his own, included four rounds of golf per week( the only form of cardio), and a diet that consisted of club sandwiches, toast, bacon, and Fudgeeos.
President & General Manager: Mark Walli Walli Walli Walli Walli
Predicted Finish: 7th
Grade: C+
Last year’s runner-up had a tough season. The Jets were the oldest team in the
HHL to begin the season, and it showed. Adam Oates and Ron Francis both had poor seasons, and Shayne Corson was a virtual write-off. This team is not without potential for the future however. GM Walli did a nice job of retooling through the draft and trade route, and now has quality players such as John Leclair, Zigmund Palffy, Petr Sykora (Hey Stew, why does he only have 2 points?) Anson Carter, and Martin Brodeur. Look for this team to make a big jump in the standings next season and return to the elite level. The Jets do need to improve their defence corps, so look for a possible trade over the summer. Hey Walli, the Professor Kim has a few extra D-Men………………..
President & General Manager: Rick ‘The Bastard’ Ramsbottom
Predicted Finish: 2nd
Grade: C-
What a disappointing year for last year’s fourth place finisher, and five time HHL
Champion. The problems began for this team on draft day. With the exception of Slava Kozlov, and that’s a stretch, not one free agent and not one draft pick added anything to this team. The Dynasty’s 1998 Draft might have been the worst draft in HHL history. Owen Nolan? Tomas Holmstrom? Dainius Zubrus? Dan Cleary?…..What could GM Ramsbottom possibly have been thinking? With a starting 6 that rivaled any in the HHL, even an average draft could have propelled the Dynasty into a money position. As it turns out, Ramsbottom was forced to trade his Captain, and most valuable player Joe Sakic to the Greek for some depth in Sergei Samsonov, and Doug Weight. In order to shake things up, Ramsbottom also later fired long-time coach Reg Dunlop. To add insult to injury, the team missed qualifying for the HHL Draft Lottery by one point, losing out to hated rival the Korean Assassins. Dynasty fans everywhere are as happy as Buzz Leeson at a buffet table that this season is finally over. Next year does look more promising with a nice core that includes Mike Modano, Weight, Niklas Lidstrom, Chris Osgood, Samsonov, and Mark Recchi. This team needs a good draft next year however to even think about competing with the big boys. It’s gonna take one dark horse gem to make this team a contender, and if any GM can pull it off………………Teemu Selanne, Mikael Renberg, Niklas Lidstrom……………………
President & General Manager: Teddy ‘The Professor’ Kim
Predicted Finish: Dead Last
Grade: D
As predicted, ‘The Professor’ Kim made some decent moves early in the season, only to pull off a couple of bone-headed transactions late in the year. Early in the season, most HHL General Managers were shocked at the quality of players Kim was receiving in his transactions. By moving Sandis Ozolinsh to the Dynasty, Kim added depth to his lineup in winger Dmitri Khristich, and Norris Trophy Winner Rob Blake. Shortly thereafter, Kim moved the aging Wayne Gretzky for young stud Pavol Demitra. These moves almost made up for the Alexei Kovalev disaster of the previous summer. "He’s finally come to his senses," yelled Assassins fans. "Kim is finally off that bad dope he’s been smokin’," exclaimed others. But we here at Rick’s Picks knew better. We knew he’d self destruct. The worst GM in HHL history wouldn’t let us down. Sure enough, Kim pulled off a real noggin scratcher half-way through the season sending Blake to The Woo Foundation for………Jaime Langenbrunner, Dean McAmmond, and Mike Richter. All players to be left unprotected at the end of the season. In another brilliant swap, Kim moved Demitra, who was having an outstanding year, back to the Liberals for $50!! Kim can now spend his money on the wide range of great free agents sure to be available this spring. Players like Todd Bertuzzi, Niklas Sundstrom, and Eric Daze. Way to go Professor, another gem of a trade. This deal created such a stir amongst Assassins fans that at the next home game, there were 5,000 no-shows. The only positive out of the entire season for the Assassins is the fact that they were able to sneak into one of the bottom four positions on the final day of the season, thus qualifying for the HHL Draft Lottery.
President & General Manager: Cole Reid
Predicted Finish: 10th
Grade: F
Chaos says it all. The season began on a poor note for the Cranbrook kid when he foolishly sold away Brendan Shanahan and Jeremy Roenick. This move was supposedly an effort to protect such stars as Daniel Alfredsson (33 pts) and Saku Koivu (45 pts). Nice strategy! After this debacle, GM Reid seemed spooked at making any further deals and simply faded away into the depths of the HHL. To no one’s surprise, Reid has been rumoured to be on the way outs in the Brook. "He doesn’t seem interested in making this team better, cried one Chaos fan. And when he does make a move, it’s terrible. I don’t know why this guy has lasted so long." Reid has trouble off the ice as well. Chaos now has only 100 Season Ticket Holders remaining. Prior to the 1997 season, this total stood at 5,000. What else can we say, Chaos is the Tampa Bay Lightning of the HHL. The only reason this team didn’t finish in the basement is because the Canadians and Studs tanked so shamelessly.
President & General Manager: Richie Stone
Predicted Finish: 12th
Grade: F
See Vancouver Grizzlies.
President & General Manager: Stew Wilson
Predicted Finish: 4th
Grade: F
From first to worst. The most shameful tanking in HHL history. Wilson finished the season with only 11 players…………8 of which had 34 points or less. Wilson has assembled a nice core of players………if Lindros can return to health………….if Pavel Bure can come back from his third knee injury…………..if, if, if. Who’s kidding who, this team sucks. GM Wilson does have some money to throw around, but with as many holes as this team has, he can’t make one mistake in his free agent signing, and drafting. My bet is that Wilson has a few more Todd Bertuzzi’s left in him.